There are so many things that you start to think about when you begin planning your family; how many kids you think you want, potential baby names, nursery decor, paying attention to your friends’ strollers….you know all the superficial things about having a baby. Then there are some things that kind of dawn on you and you realize you are going to have some major decsions to make once you get pregnant and once the baby is born; I’ve just come to one of these realizations……breastfeeding!
I never really thought about it before; I have friends and family who have breastfed and those who have not and I always just took the stance that everyone has the right to decide what works for them, their baby and their family life. For some reason (and I honestly can’t remember what triggered it) I have been thinking about whether or not I will breastfeed once I have a baby, and to be honest the idea kinda freaks me out!! I know, it is this special bond that you alone share with your child, that it is a beautiful thing providing nourishment to your baby but I’m not entirely sure it is something I honestly want to do. I’ve heard many times that a woman hasn’t breastfed because her milk didn’t come in or she doesn’t produce enough but never because it seems foreign to have a baby hanging off their breast!
I’m not really sure why I feel this way, but I’m really hoping that I can get past this once I do become pregnant and at least give breastfeeding a try as I really do know that it is the best thing for my baby. I know that it can be a challenge and I just hope my fear disappears once it is no longer an idea but a reality!
I’d love to hear if any of you felt the same way before having children or if you are currently TTCing and feel the same way? Did this feeling change once you gave birth?
@stamping4stars
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I’m with you Melissa in thinking that it is a personal choice up to each person. I’m also with you in that I wasn’t so sure breastfeeding was something I wanted to do before I had my children. I decided that I did not before I had my first child and I bottle fed exclusively from the start. No, the thought didn’t change after having him, and no, I never regretted the decision. The bonding is not in the breastfeeding, it is in the holding and feeding and spending the time with your child. So long as you take the time to sit down and feed your child and don’t prop them or lay them down on their own with a bottle it will be fine. No one could have a stronger bond than my son and I, he is 21 now and that has stood the test of time (and teenage years!). He is highly gifted and always extremely healthy, never an allergy to anything! Before having my daughter, six years later, the breastfeeding contingent had become more vociferous and with the support of some who had done it I decided I would try breastfeeding. I tried it and yes the feeling changed after having her! While I don’t regret giving it a try, I do regret to say that it was not a good experience. Always extremely painful, then mastitis, seemed to be not enough milk after that. I persisted for five painful, tense months and then happily switched to bottle feeding. Fortunately, I didn’t hold it against her and we also are extremely well bonded. She is also gifted and generally healthy, but has every allergy going and I really think has since she was born, including now a few unusual ones, like allergic to cold! Remember you can always try breastfeeding, it might be wonderful for you, if not you can stop, nothing is carved in stone. But if you decide not to from the get go, trust that that will work out fine too, relax and enjoy your baby, and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks!
Thank you so much Julie for sharing your experiences with breastfeeding & bottle feeding. Your words are very encouraging and it is nice to hear that the bond can be just as strong whether you breast or bottle feed!
Copying from Facebook too!! — I never imagined that I would breastfeed but I knew I would try it. Turns out, we tried it and then ended up nursing to 26 months LOL! I had no idea that we would but it’s what happened after not really knowing. One thing that immensely helped was getting a lactation consultant come to our home before the baby was born to walk me through nursing and teach me what I needed to know. Combine that with watching YouTube mommas and pregnant YouTubers talk about breastfeeding and I solidified the decision to breastfeed. It is entirely a personal choice though!
Thanks Erin! I do know that if we decide to give it a try I would seek out professional advice (a lactation consultant) to make sure that I am well prepared for both me & the baby.
Wow, how great is it that you are already considering how you will nourish your child!! Most mama’s don’t give it a second thought until after the babe is born
Breastfeeding is something that I didn’t think I would do, I didn’t know very much about it at all, the idea of it kind of irked me a little bit, until I had my boy in my arms! We had a rough labour ending in a c-section, this was very disappointing to me and I swore right then that I would do whatever I could to breastfeed him…it was so empowering for me to be able to nourish my boy with my own body, the same body that had ‘failed’ me when it came to delivering him, it made me so happy that even though I couldn’t deliver him on my own that I could and would feed him with my own body! It has been over 4 years since my first son was born, he nursed for 2.5 yrs (a lot longer than the 6mths I had initially stated I would do it for) my second will be 2 soon and we still have a beautiful nursing relationship.
Like anything in parenthood, breastfeeding is not without it’s challenges. There are long nights, and long days, sore nipples etc. But it gets easier as the time goes on, your babe and yourself will fall into sync and you will be able to do it in your sleep (something that would be pretty hard to do with a bottle!) Research breastfeeding, research bottle feeding, watch you tube videos, watch breastfeeding moms (I assure you they won’t think you are weird, they will let you look) talk to your friends, make an informed choice! Whatever that choice may be be proud of it! If you choose to breastfeed, do it with confidence, do it with pride, if you choose to bottle feed, do it with confidence and pride as well!! I have only been a mom for 4 years but in that time I have realized that for every group that is judging my choices there is another group applauding them.
Good luck with everything Mel! The fact that you care already about something so important shows that any child will be lucky to call you mama, breastfed or otherwise
Thank you Krysta! I am so glad that I’m not the only one who is kinda freaked before having a baby. I really appreciate your words of encouragement and that I will be supported in what my final decision will be when the time comes! Thanks so much for your great comment!!
The decision is utterly personal. Arm yourself with all of the knowledge you can gather so that when the time comes you can make the most informed decision possible. Scout out lactation consultants and meet with a few to find the right woman so that if and/when you decide to breastfeed you have an incredibly knowledgeable support person in your corner. Having an LC ready to go just in case will save you a lot of stress when the time comes. Worth every penny.
Thank you Brenda for your comment. I think you are right, arming yourself with the knowledge is the best way to make the best decision for both you & your baby! As well having the support and someone to talk to (who is an expert in the field) is so important. I’m looking forward to exploring all my options once the time comes