I am the first to admit that I don’t have the greatest level of patience. Whether it be having to wait to find out information, wait to buy something I want now, waiting for people, waiting on hold on the phone, with rude people….just really in general. I have low level of patience.
What I this article is about however, is how I am really noticing 2 different levels of patience with and for, my two children.
It is something that I am constantly struggling with since having my son 2 years ago. I talked about feeling like I am going crazy and want to “run away with the circus” in a past post for lack of patience, but this is about trying to find the same amount of patience with my daughter as I do with my son. For example:
- My son wants to get dressed himself. It takes him 4 times as long as it would for me to do it. BUT I know he is little and just learning so I grin and bare it and wait patiently (for the most part ; ) lol).
- My daughter is very slow getting ready in the mornings. She takes FOREVER to eat and get dressed in the morning. My patience wears very thin and I find myself grumbling and getting frustrated with her because she is taking so long getting dressed and ready. Takes me asking and reminding and asking and reminding 25 times before it gets done and happens and I loose my patience.
So why is it that I can patiently wait for my son, but want to pull my damn hair out with my daughter being so pokey?
It is because I always justify it with “Ava is almost 6, she should know better…Mason is just little and is just learning.”
The reality is – and I know this which is why I get mad at myself – she is only 6. She is still ‘little.’ She is still learning.
Before I had my son, I was going through all the firsts with my daughter. She was my sole focus in life. So now, having 2, I find that my patience as with many feelings, is split between the 2. There is a little more than 3.5 years between them, so they are in different stages of childhood and it makes it somewhat hard.
Things that I wouldn’t give my son trouble for, I am scolding my daughter for. And then she asks why and I say “cause he doesn’t know any better, but you do!” And she does, but how unfair does that seem!?
I am finding that my patience levels are feeling somewhat more on par since putting my son in daycare, and having a little more time to myself. But I still find myself more than once a day, telling myself “She is still learning too…breathe Crystal!”
It is not that I love my son more than my daughter, I just find that my tolerance and patience differ between them. So while I feel that my patience IS a virtue with my son, it is my vice in regards to my daughter and something I need to work on.
Can anyone relate to this? Do you find that you are able to be more patient with one child over another? Any tips to help me through this stage!? Would love to hear suggestions/feedback!