In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.
In her practice and writing, Esther Perel helps loving couples navigate between the comfort of happy relationships and the thrilling uncertainty of sexual attraction.
View this video on TED here.
What takeaways did you take from this video? Leave it in the comments below.
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Thanks so much for posting Esther Perel’s talk Erin! So many terrific take aways. Great explanation of the dialectic between the desire for safety and the desire for novelty. I loved that she not only brought up this delimma, but also had solutions: 1.we need to take responsibility for our erotic intelligence (I turn myself off when…) rather than making our partner responsible. 2. Figure out when it is that we are most drawn to our partners and replicate it. I love that she asked that question in 20 countries and that most people said it was when they were nearby, watching their partner from a distance, being in their element, radiant and confident. Such a positive, hopeful conclusion.